Emotional Boundaries Help Us to Deal with Our Own Emotions

Did you know vaving clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle? A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not.
Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask:

- Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
- What are legitimate boundaries?
- What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
- How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
- Aren't boundaries selfish?
- Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.

For Christians and non-Christians who can cope with bible verses invading otherwise sensible advice, this book is excellent at confirming what our consciences tell us - there are times when we should take responsibility for ourselves instead of blaming others, and times when we need to protect ourselves against others who, unintentionally or no, try to invade our boundaries.

If your boundaries have been ruthlessly invaded, you will be relieved to find a book that confirms that the violation you have felt is not just your own weird and worthless reaction, and that you have been right to feel a need to protect yourself.

The authors introduce their work with a short section entitled, "A Day in a Boundaryless Life." Most persons can easily identify with the young woman depicted in this typical life situation. The authors then describe the concept of boundaries in detail, and how boundaries are developed in our lives. They present ten laws of boundaries, and then proceed to describe common myths regarding them. These laws and myths, as well as the rest of the book's content, are very readable and easy to understand.

Boundaries are needed in all parts of our lives including, our family, friends, spouses, kids, and those we work with. We as individuals need to set our own boundaries as well. To not do so would only be cheating oneself. We also need to recognize that God has boundaries as well.

This book will teach you all you need to know about boundaries in all aspects of your life, and how to apply them properly. It is not a 'how to' book to absolve yourself from your responsibilities, instead it clearly shows you what you are responsible for and what others are responsible for. The authors recognised that their idea of setting boundaries may be met with apprehension and so they spent a whole chapter exposing the myths surrounding boundaries - eg making distinctions between feeling guilty and feeling false guilt or distinctions between being selfish and practicing self care.

If you find that you are always saying yes to others because you don't want to hurt their feelings or you want to avoid conflict and by saying 'yes' the new responsibilities or actions you take end up being detrimental to you, to your needs or your family then this book will be of great assistance.